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I'm wasting away...

(Note: this is a departure from the various reviews and funny little stories i usually write about, and I'm going to be a bit more serious than usual. so, sorry, no funny in this post.)

What did i do wrong? i feel like im just wasting away sitting here at this computer when life is happening all around me.
did i not study enough in school? did i not excel in sports like i should have? is my add really that bad that i can't even settle on a career?

All around me, it seems like the world is crumbling down, and i'm stuck in the middle of ground zero.  I try hard enough, right?
Its that ima fat, lazy piece of shit that can't even hold a job for a fucking year.

everyday that i wake up, i feel like i am the biggest loser in the world. Cant talk to women the right way, cant save up money for a license, i cant even take care of myself...am i really that bad?

I really need some fucking counseling....i just can't handle this anymore. either way i look at it, im losing out in the world.
i just want to be successful and love what i do for work, but how can i do that when i dont even know what i love to do anymore?


nope. you're intelligent, sweet, cute and introspective enough to be interesting. you ARE in a rut, but your current discomfort will ensure that you don't get stuck there:::G::::
lose your focus? well, that happens. do don't waste energy beating yourself up, RE-focus. how's it going saving up for that apartment in frederick? get a place downtown and you've got fun job possibilities as well as a great social life right there in walking distance.
even if you head off in the wrong direction, sweetheart, you can always tweak it. what you CAN'T do is change direction when you're standing still, ya know?